The Problem with Problems

I often worry about my problems. Most people do. It's especially a bad thing when I do. Everybody's got problems. Some run from them, or at least try to. My problem with problems is that instead of solving it, rather than run from it, I sit there and look at it. I pick it up, analyze it like crazy. I put it down and look at it from a different angle, come up with all kinds of theories of where it came from and why it's here now. Then I gawk at it and the fact that it's attached to me and I am the sole individual who must deal with it. I don't like it. I want to rid myself of it. But I don't. Not that I don't try to. I try to get around it. This ball and chain just sits there weighing down on me, hindering me from what I want to do what I need to do, and I want it off. I know I've got other things to do and it will be much harder with that extra weight. I think I can just drag it around and still accomplish everything with it right there beside me. I don't get very far. So I get frustrated with it. Yell at it, kick it, it's still there, unscathed. As for my poor foot however, it suffered in the end. I didn't actually do anything helpful, I just hurt myself more. This year I will be a senior in high school which means college is right around the corner. 4 years of independence. I want to grow throughout that length of time into someone much better than I am today. I will. But it starts now.

Pictures

Over the summer I have attended five-one week camps. Unfortunately, my camera disappeared after the first one. It was not until the day I left for my final full week away from home that it made its long overdue reunion with its rightful-not to mention relieved-owner. There are about five separate posts from two camps (one from the first and four from the most recent) on my photoblog. A link to it can be found at the top of my blog list on the right side of this page, but because I am so kind I shall give you another link right on this post. I do hope you check the pictures out so long as you don't criticize my elementary photography skills. Below is a video I took of me on the Land Trolley at The Wilds, a Christian camp in Brevard, NC. The photoblog link, as promised, is just under it. Just click on the camera(which happens to look exactly like mine..) it will take you right to the pictures. Enjoy!

Why Ask Why?

People want to know who God is and why He does the things He does. They question something so much greater than themselves. They want to know which faith is right and why its right and how it came to be. How can you explain faith? You can only do so much to attempt to prove faith and why it exists. We see how situations affect us, we want to know why this is happening to us when in reality, we are not the only ones who are being affected. It's just like a human to assume that it is all about us. Why did I lose my job? Why did my son die? Why did my car get stolen? Stop and look at what happened to you and you will see that there are other people involved in each story of your life. What about the person who stole the car? What about the boss who let you go? What about the person who filled you position? What about your spouse, also a parent of your child? Or other children who were brothers and sisters to your child? That same God that you curse for taking away what was not yours in the first place is the God that is working in others' lives who saw the same thing happen to them. Maybe it was what they needed to go through so that they would come to know Him.

Essay from YLC

Born in Atchison, Kansas on July 24, 1897, Amelia Earhart became one of the most widely known pilots that ever lived. Her father took her to an air fair in Toronto when she was young. One of his friends let her go up in his plane and from that very moment, Amelia Earhart knew she would one day become a pilot. As she grew and matured, she never lost sight of her dreams. Flight schools in the United States refused to teach her, so she left for a flight school in France. The flight lessons were extremely expensive. She diligently worked several jobs including photographer, stenographer, truck driver, and others to pay for her pricey lessons. On January 3, 1921, Earhart was able to take her first flying lesson. She went on to be the first female to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean, and then set a goal to fly all the way around the world. The first attempt was unsuccessful do to a faulty aircraft. Although she encountered setbacks, she tried again. When Amelia and her copilot had flown over 22,000 miles, they began to experience radio problems. It is believed that their antenna may have broken off. The Elctra 10E they were flying was low on fuel adn they missed the island where they had planned to land by a mere 5 miles. They were only 4,500 miles from completing the global trip. At 8:43 am on July 2, 1937, Earhart sent a message in morse code to a Coast Guard ship saying they were running low on fuel and were going to try to communicate on another radio channel. She would not be heard from again. The Coast Guard searched 150,000 square miles for any sign of Amelia. 4 million dollars went towards search and rescue efforts with no findings. It was the most extensive search ever conducted up to that point in time.
It was George Washington who said, "It should be the highest ambition of every American to extend his views beyond himself, and to bear in mind that his conduct will not only affect himself, his country, and his immediate posterity; but that its influence my be co-extensive with the world, and stamp political happiness or misery on ages yet unborn." Amelia Earhart becam a fantastic leader because of the decisions she made. Her ambition has in fact impacted ages that were yet unborn in her lifetime. In order to be a leader, one must first be a follower. She decided to follow in the footsteps of her father and his friend. The most important trait, which helped bring about her role as a leader, is perseverance. No matter what happened to her, she continued to press toward her ambitions. She believed in herself and did not give up. Everytime an obstacle appeared in her way, it had the opportunity to take away whatever dreams she had worked towards. Some of these "brick walls" she had to face were rejections, high cost, and unsuccessful attempts among other things. In spite of it all she kept going. As Randy Pausch says, "Brick walls are there for a reason: They let you prove how much you want something."
The key to being a leader is having leadership. According to the Army Junior ROTC Unit 1 manual, leadership is the ability to influence, lead or guide others to accomplish a mission in the manner desired by using purpose, direction, and motivation. Amelia has and will continue to be a leader. She has given people a purpose, a reason to go out and do something. That purpose is to make a place in this world for yourself. Find something you love doing and go do it to the best of your ability. She has influenced me to set goals and try my best to accomplish them. She has given the world knowledge, mainly women, that it is possible for them to be independent thinkers and independent in general. Most importantly, she has given us all motivation, the will to do something you are already capapable of. She made a great sacrifice. She was going to accomplish her dreams no matter what the cost. That is what separates the ordinary from the extraoridary. Using the ability to stand firmly for what you believe in to lead the way for others to do the same.

Live to Ride, Ride to Live

I love how you can go around waiting hand and foot on your girlfriend. Oh how much you care about her. Just peachy. I'm gonna be gone soon. I won't be seeing you for a while. I love you so much, but you just want to ignore me. I figured I would help you out. Instead of pretending I'm not there, how about I just go ahead and leave? That would make it easier for everyone. I don't mind her, but I don't like her. I want to spend time with you. I want you to want to spend time with me. You say you love me and that I'm number one in your life because I'm your little girl, but then I hear your Harley start up and I know the truth. Even if you don't. I yell at you, I get mad at you. Have you ever stopped and thought of why? Why am I so upset? Perhaps I'm hurting. Deep down inside. You make time for what you love most and you certainly don't complain about it. You spring at the chance to please her. You do things you know you shouldn't. But you want to be around her. You gripe and complain about how much gas costs when I say I need a ride to this event or that. But then when you see a biker pin or patch online that says Harley Davidson, no complaints are heard out of your mouth. Do you feel regretful at all inside for spending over a hundred dollars on that new seat for your ride? Certainly not. For it would have cost you over two hundred more otherwise. And yet, when I inform you of pricey senior portraits, you cringe at the twenty dollar sitting cost. I understand you aren't made of money. I know things are tight right now. More so than usual. I know interests are high and you have taxes and bills and so many other money-eating transactions. I know that workmen's compensation doesn't pay all that great. I just figure if you can afford the little luxuries for your bike and your girl, then why is it that I can't afford the $25 for Civil Air Patrol, or the $10 for a school chorus shirt, or a yearbook from my senior year in high school. Not to mention my cap and gown that are REQUIRED for me to walk at the graduation ceremony. 100 bucks. Not including invites. Oh, wait, I don't believe I'll be getting those. And prom? Hmm, we'll see. That should be interesting. We've both gone through all kinds of stuff in life. Granted, your life has been much longer than mine and from a very different point of view. But even so, our lives now are together and I feel that we should be working together to get through the hardships, not tearing each other down. I don't want to hurt you, and I know you certainly don't want to hurt me, but with the way things have gone, I think its best if I just stayed away for the rest of summer. People see me as a good teenager, but you know how I really am. I long for your approval. Your praise is lacking in the area of enthusiasm. I've worked so hard at different things. I get awards that took so much time and effort. But you're not there when I recieve them. And if you are, it doesn't mean near as much to you. You'd rather be riding. You'd rather be playing you're guitar. Yet there you are in the audience. Physically. But your mind is elsewhere, your heart is elsewhere, your future is elsewhere. I honestly do not believe that we can ever be together cooperatively. For when it is just me and you in one house hold, you are depressed and longing for more. When you have that longing fulfilled such as now while we live with your girlfriend, you are a much happier person, but you arent around me. My options have been proven to be 1)have you around, but dreary or 2)have you happy and enjoying life, but distant. Neither of which do I wish for. You say you want me to be happy. I want you to want to spend time with me. Unfortunately, that is just not possible. Maybe one day I can come to realize and accept that. Until then, I will probably continue to be upset and disappointed.