Remember.

Sometimes you cant trust people.

Sometimes you cant trust yourself.

Emotions fool you
friends decieve
enemies change.

The world still goes 'round.
You make promises you know you'll never keep.
But then you do

and it makes you wonder..
What is it that makes this world so easily contradictory?
What is it that makes the ones we love the most so easily taken from us?
How long do we go on in this world without learning from the mistakes we make time after time?
What makes things worth believing in?
We assign a value to everything, be it great or small. It's there.

Some people just tend to come with a higher cost than others.
In our minds at least.
But in reality, we're all equal.

Friends are amazing. I'm so glad God has put the people I now love in my life. I would not be as happy in this dark and dismal world. I would not focus on God like I do. No one is perfect, so I still struggle a lot.
My cousin attempted suicide yesterday. I am mad at him, and his friends and his parents. Basically anyone in his life that has or could have had an affect on him. This includes me. He is obviously searching for something. He's had fame, girls, money, cars, etc. But then he goes and cuts himself and winds up in the hospital.. go figure. He needs Christ. God is all. He is everything you need. I just want Chance to see that before its too late. What if he does this again and does not live through it?

Who let the dog out?

As I was sitting at the computer reading the blog posts of others, I heard the voices of the parentals in the living room. They were telling the dog to "put that down. That's not a toy!" The fear in their voices made me think they just might need some help getting whatever it is away from Piper, the rottweiler. I entered the room not knowing what to expect and finding the situation to be calm. Apparently, Dad had taken Roxy, our quaker parrot, out of his cage. The bird lifted off his hand and began to fly around the room as he usually does, probably to stretch out his wings. Piper got all excited at this, thinking that Roxy flying from his hands had been Dad throwing one of her many toys. She jumped up from where she lay and fixed her eyes on what she thought to be an airborne object. To make matters worse, Roxy landed on the floor, something he hardly ever does. He usually returns to my father's hand to be placed once again in his cage. But this time he landed right next to Piper. The dog, still believing Roxy is a toy, turned to pick it/him up in her mouth and carry it/him to my dad triumphantly. When Joyce(Dad's girlfriend and owner of Piper) saw this, she reprimanded Piper and attempted to get Roxy safely away from the dumbfounded canine.
In both the theater and life, all's well that ends well.

I sometimes still hate my mom.
when i get dressed up, I think I'm a lot prettier than I really am.
i read for the fun of it.
i dont like going to class.
homework is a waste of time.
im really lazy.
i planned out how to kill myself and for my mom to find me.
i was eight years old.
in my mind, she deserved it.
i never again will ever attempt, or even truly consider taking my own life.
i love some people more than they will ever know.
but i dont believe in love at first sight.
or being "in love".
you can love someone and they love you. truly. but not the whole mushy warm fuzzy thing.
that doesnt always last.
love is not merely an emotion as people have diluted it down to be. its more like a commitment.
marriage is like a contract saying i not only want to, but will live with you forever to the day i die. the two become one flesh. you cant go into a relationship thinking solely on the relationship because then other factors of your life will affect it somehow. thats why hardly any of them last anymore.
why cant people realize that yes, they fail. and when they fail, they dont need to just sit on their butts. they need to get up and try again if they want to get anywhere. but they should already realize if they try to do whatever it is on their own, then they will just fail again. but if they turn to God, who is almighty, omnipotent, and omniscient, they probably, im just guessing would do at least a little bit better facing the task at hand with Him on their side rather than them going at it alone. right?
just wondering.