Late one night..

God,
you're my strength, my comfort, my rock.
I keep my heart closed while you stand and knock.
The time passes 'til I see your face.
The judgement will come.
Time cannot erase
the mistakes I have made
and the games that I played,
wastin' away,
everyday.
My soul you came to save.
But I just turn away.
I don't want to see
your soveriegnty,
your majesty,
your glory.
It's not for me.
I tell myself inside but I know I cannot hide
from your will and your way,
For your way is perfect
and I know it
but my way seems easy
and your way seems cheesy.
And God, I don't think you're right all the time.
I'll just do what I want and live the good life without you.
Yeah, I know its not true,
but it paints a pretty picture in my mind.
One I want to live for.
Even though it was me you died for.
You died and were raised to save me,
yet how do I repay thee?
I talk like I'm this and act like I'm that.
My life is but a vapor.
It's fading fast. It won't last
but for a moment
and then I'll be gone.
This life won't matter,
these clothes, this hair, it won't matter there.
It's not about being liked, it's about being light.
Being your light for those who are hurting,
for those who are searching.
Shape me and mold me, God.
Take me and hold me.
Make me your creation.
Turn me into who you want me to be.
Let me stand out boldy.
Let me come before your throne, even if I'm alone.
I give you praise all of my days.
Let me serve you an worship you.
God, after all that I've done, you still love me.
That just amazes me.

Current Stati

I've been extremely busy with my senior year and everything that comes with it. You would not believe how much paper work and online forms must be filled out when applying to the Air Force Academy. The instruction manual for just the basic application is 41 pages! So I've got my hands full with that and JROTCs big inspection that comes once every four years. I'm the battalion commander, the top person in the entire Brookland Cayce High School JROTC unit. I'm working on maintaining all A's this year. Currently I have a 103 in Calculus Honors. In September, I auditioned for Gifted and Talented voice lessons with Tom Brunson and although I did not obtain one of the three openings, I am an alternate. Second best was never my favorite spot to be in but I suppose it's better than nothing. I'm preparing to audition for All State Chorus in November. College applications are not something I've been looking forward to but they must be completed. I'm also studying for my next promotion in Civil Air Patrol. I can promote twice as fast as others because of my JROTC experience. Hopefully I will be going to McEntire Air Base on friday to fly in a C130. Then on Saturday I'll be competing at Swansea High School. It will be the first drill meet of my senior year that I will be able to attend. BC's Drill Team took home first place overall at the competition in September and I'm looking forward to us doing that again. Afterwards, I'll come home, change, and head off to work at Williams-Brice Stadium attempting to sell cotton candy on a pole for 15% profit. If they run out of cotton candy, I'll carry around snow cones and hope I'm fortunate enough to sell them before they become koolaid. Sunday morning I'll get up early and run for twenty minutes, just like every day, shower, and get ready for church. Everyday I'm practicing speaking. I'm supposed to be less meek. I need to speak up for myself; something I'm not particularly good at. Practice makes perfect. I can do this. I will do this. I will excel beyond anyone's imagination. I want this bad enough to train and prepare as much and as hard as I have to.