Dumb Blonde Jokes

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the Zamboni machine.

-Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes. Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine. Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

-A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

-A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she is low on gas, so she stops at the gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she had locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, the blonde asks the attendant for a coat hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself.
She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring. The blonde outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around.
Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car is saying, "A little more to the left. A little more to the right ... "

-A dumb blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"OH, NO!" exclaimed the blonde.
But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. "Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter.
The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, "Andy."
"Andy? That's interesting. What made you say that?" inquired Saint Peter.
Then the blonde started to sing, "Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me..."

-Returning home from work, a young blonde woman was shocked to find that her house had been ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash. The blonde woman ran out on the porch and shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog.
Then she sat down on the steps, put her face in her hands and moaned, "I came home to find all my possessions stolen. I called the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"

Graceful Stepping

Life is like a dance.
The man is supposed to lead; to invite the woman to join him.
The woman is to follow but it is her decision to accept or reject the offer made unto her.
If he is willing to ask and she is willing to accept, then the two become one, sweeping, twirling, flowing across the dance floor.
No one is perfect.
There will be toes occasionally stepped on, stumbles here and there,
but each individual has the power to control the outcome of every situation. Continue on gracefully, work out the kinks, seek revenge for the ill fated mistakes, or end the dance then and there.
It is a stroll, a walk in the park if you will. When one chooses to go forward, he or she also decides whether or not to go it alone.

The Problem with Problems

I often worry about my problems. Most people do. It's especially a bad thing when I do. Everybody's got problems. Some run from them, or at least try to. My problem with problems is that instead of solving it, rather than run from it, I sit there and look at it. I pick it up, analyze it like crazy. I put it down and look at it from a different angle, come up with all kinds of theories of where it came from and why it's here now. Then I gawk at it and the fact that it's attached to me and I am the sole individual who must deal with it. I don't like it. I want to rid myself of it. But I don't. Not that I don't try to. I try to get around it. This ball and chain just sits there weighing down on me, hindering me from what I want to do what I need to do, and I want it off. I know I've got other things to do and it will be much harder with that extra weight. I think I can just drag it around and still accomplish everything with it right there beside me. I don't get very far. So I get frustrated with it. Yell at it, kick it, it's still there, unscathed. As for my poor foot however, it suffered in the end. I didn't actually do anything helpful, I just hurt myself more. This year I will be a senior in high school which means college is right around the corner. 4 years of independence. I want to grow throughout that length of time into someone much better than I am today. I will. But it starts now.

Pictures

Over the summer I have attended five-one week camps. Unfortunately, my camera disappeared after the first one. It was not until the day I left for my final full week away from home that it made its long overdue reunion with its rightful-not to mention relieved-owner. There are about five separate posts from two camps (one from the first and four from the most recent) on my photoblog. A link to it can be found at the top of my blog list on the right side of this page, but because I am so kind I shall give you another link right on this post. I do hope you check the pictures out so long as you don't criticize my elementary photography skills. Below is a video I took of me on the Land Trolley at The Wilds, a Christian camp in Brevard, NC. The photoblog link, as promised, is just under it. Just click on the camera(which happens to look exactly like mine..) it will take you right to the pictures. Enjoy!

Why Ask Why?

People want to know who God is and why He does the things He does. They question something so much greater than themselves. They want to know which faith is right and why its right and how it came to be. How can you explain faith? You can only do so much to attempt to prove faith and why it exists. We see how situations affect us, we want to know why this is happening to us when in reality, we are not the only ones who are being affected. It's just like a human to assume that it is all about us. Why did I lose my job? Why did my son die? Why did my car get stolen? Stop and look at what happened to you and you will see that there are other people involved in each story of your life. What about the person who stole the car? What about the boss who let you go? What about the person who filled you position? What about your spouse, also a parent of your child? Or other children who were brothers and sisters to your child? That same God that you curse for taking away what was not yours in the first place is the God that is working in others' lives who saw the same thing happen to them. Maybe it was what they needed to go through so that they would come to know Him.