Late one night..

God,
you're my strength, my comfort, my rock.
I keep my heart closed while you stand and knock.
The time passes 'til I see your face.
The judgement will come.
Time cannot erase
the mistakes I have made
and the games that I played,
wastin' away,
everyday.
My soul you came to save.
But I just turn away.
I don't want to see
your soveriegnty,
your majesty,
your glory.
It's not for me.
I tell myself inside but I know I cannot hide
from your will and your way,
For your way is perfect
and I know it
but my way seems easy
and your way seems cheesy.
And God, I don't think you're right all the time.
I'll just do what I want and live the good life without you.
Yeah, I know its not true,
but it paints a pretty picture in my mind.
One I want to live for.
Even though it was me you died for.
You died and were raised to save me,
yet how do I repay thee?
I talk like I'm this and act like I'm that.
My life is but a vapor.
It's fading fast. It won't last
but for a moment
and then I'll be gone.
This life won't matter,
these clothes, this hair, it won't matter there.
It's not about being liked, it's about being light.
Being your light for those who are hurting,
for those who are searching.
Shape me and mold me, God.
Take me and hold me.
Make me your creation.
Turn me into who you want me to be.
Let me stand out boldy.
Let me come before your throne, even if I'm alone.
I give you praise all of my days.
Let me serve you an worship you.
God, after all that I've done, you still love me.
That just amazes me.

Current Stati

I've been extremely busy with my senior year and everything that comes with it. You would not believe how much paper work and online forms must be filled out when applying to the Air Force Academy. The instruction manual for just the basic application is 41 pages! So I've got my hands full with that and JROTCs big inspection that comes once every four years. I'm the battalion commander, the top person in the entire Brookland Cayce High School JROTC unit. I'm working on maintaining all A's this year. Currently I have a 103 in Calculus Honors. In September, I auditioned for Gifted and Talented voice lessons with Tom Brunson and although I did not obtain one of the three openings, I am an alternate. Second best was never my favorite spot to be in but I suppose it's better than nothing. I'm preparing to audition for All State Chorus in November. College applications are not something I've been looking forward to but they must be completed. I'm also studying for my next promotion in Civil Air Patrol. I can promote twice as fast as others because of my JROTC experience. Hopefully I will be going to McEntire Air Base on friday to fly in a C130. Then on Saturday I'll be competing at Swansea High School. It will be the first drill meet of my senior year that I will be able to attend. BC's Drill Team took home first place overall at the competition in September and I'm looking forward to us doing that again. Afterwards, I'll come home, change, and head off to work at Williams-Brice Stadium attempting to sell cotton candy on a pole for 15% profit. If they run out of cotton candy, I'll carry around snow cones and hope I'm fortunate enough to sell them before they become koolaid. Sunday morning I'll get up early and run for twenty minutes, just like every day, shower, and get ready for church. Everyday I'm practicing speaking. I'm supposed to be less meek. I need to speak up for myself; something I'm not particularly good at. Practice makes perfect. I can do this. I will do this. I will excel beyond anyone's imagination. I want this bad enough to train and prepare as much and as hard as I have to.

The Product of Mental Activity

I'm not exactly sure why it is that I only post on here at times when I should be snoozing. It's my senior year of high school; my 12th and final year of tax-dollar funded public education. Life is never the same. Every task, every situation that comes your way is different. It's always different. Not necessarily because the circumstance itself is completely unfamiliar, but most of the time it is different because we are different in comparison to who we once were. After each difficulty, we change. We grow. We learn. Most of the time anyway. Everyone is developing daily into something new. Yes, we retain most of who we are, who we originally were, but a little piece of us has been added or altered in some way. The affect one individual can have on another just amazes me. The power of a single word or phrase can be incomprehensible. I'm beginning to see just how much of an affect I can have on others. Everything about me sends out a message to others. The words I say, the way I carry myself, etc. They all come together to form me. At least one version of me. The one that others know about, or at least leads them to believe they think they do. There's another part of me locked away down deep inside. Sure, some people who know me extremely well know a little bit about that girl, but they only know as much as I let them know. There is only one who truly knows me. That is what defines me. Not this shell, my appearance. Not just the little bit of me that a few come to know, but the most inner part of me. Just because it's hidden doesn't mean it's all bad, but it probably isn't all good either. It is who I am. Only God knows all of me. I can alter my demeanor but who I am can still remain the same.
That being said, other people's outward actions and reactions can affect us and change us if we want it to. We can decide to become a little different than what we were before. No one is perfect so everyone can be improved upon, the problem lies in knowing what to change and how to change it.
God's word has helped me out a lot with that problem.
A lot of people try to defend some of the things they do(believing they are in the wrong) by saying "Well the Bible doesn't say anything about_____." You'd be surprised at what all the Bible does talk about. It really does have the answers for everything. You just have to take the time to look into it and find out for your self. I did. And I'm better because of it. Not perfect, just growing.

Dumb Blonde Jokes

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the Zamboni machine.

-Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes. Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine. Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

-A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

-A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she is low on gas, so she stops at the gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she had locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, the blonde asks the attendant for a coat hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself.
She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring. The blonde outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around.
Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car is saying, "A little more to the left. A little more to the right ... "

-A dumb blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"OH, NO!" exclaimed the blonde.
But Saint Peter said not to worry, because he would make it an easy test. "Who was God's son?" asked Saint Peter.
The dumb blonde thought for a few minutes and replied, "Andy."
"Andy? That's interesting. What made you say that?" inquired Saint Peter.
Then the blonde started to sing, "Andy walks with me. Andy talks with me. Andy tells me..."

-Returning home from work, a young blonde woman was shocked to find that her house had been ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash. The blonde woman ran out on the porch and shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog.
Then she sat down on the steps, put her face in her hands and moaned, "I came home to find all my possessions stolen. I called the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman!"

Graceful Stepping

Life is like a dance.
The man is supposed to lead; to invite the woman to join him.
The woman is to follow but it is her decision to accept or reject the offer made unto her.
If he is willing to ask and she is willing to accept, then the two become one, sweeping, twirling, flowing across the dance floor.
No one is perfect.
There will be toes occasionally stepped on, stumbles here and there,
but each individual has the power to control the outcome of every situation. Continue on gracefully, work out the kinks, seek revenge for the ill fated mistakes, or end the dance then and there.
It is a stroll, a walk in the park if you will. When one chooses to go forward, he or she also decides whether or not to go it alone.